A Stranger In A Strange Land

5 funny stories about moving from Canada to America.

Okay, so I realize it’s a bit brazen to use the term ‘strange land’ when I moved from Saskatchewan to Minnesota. I didn’t have to learn a new language, or eat foreign food, or learn how to drive on the opposite side of the road. Moving from rural Saskatchewan to Minnesota is about as big a step as switching from a 9:30 am Sunday church service, to the 11:15.

But even with all our similarities, and the many things we have in common, I have been surprised over the past 6 months how many things are different.

Numero Uno! The postal service.

I don’t know if you know this, but where I used to live we do not have mailboxes on our front lawn. Our mailbox is at the post office, and in order to receive said mail one has to get into their car (usually with four screaming children) drive to the post office and unlock a box with your number on it (usually with four children screaming over which one got to put in the key). In cities, especially older areas, you can have a mailbox on your front lawn. My parents used to have one, and my mom bought it with a lovely red flag that you could raise. The mailman thought this was great and would lift the red flag whenever he delivered their mail.

But in America, that little red flag doesn’t mean you have received mail. You put that sucker up if you’re SENDING mail from your own house. This is also a foreign concept to a Canadian. If you want to send mail in Canada you have to get in your car (with four screaming kids) and drive to the post office, and put the letter in a special slot (while your screaming kids fight over which one gets to slide that letter in).

Whoever is the mailman that has to deliver to our house in Minnesota, we owe you an apology! We did not know the purpose of that adorable little red flag. When we moved in my kids thought it was great fun to raise it. They put rocks in the mailbox and raised the flag. They put the red flag up when the mailbox was empty as a prank for their siblings. They put the red flag up whenever they felt like it, because that little red flag just looks so darn cute sticking straight up.

Number 2. Vehicles

We do not have two license plates in Saskatchewan. We have one license plate and it goes on the back of the vehicle. The front of the vehicle is where you put your ramming bar for plowing through snowdrifts on the back roads. I’m just kidding. In Canada we travel by dog sled.

Once again Heather’s ignorance shines through as I did not realize the two license plate rule. So when my license plate tags showed up I thought it was a little odd there were two stickers with the same dates on it. But no worries! I knew what I was doing! So I put those two matching stickers on the back license plate with pride. Look at me! fitting in with my Minnesota plate.

Then while driving I noticed every car around me had a front license plate. Whoops. Instead of saying APR 2023 on my license plates, mine now reads 2023 2023. I tried to scrape those stickers off. They DO NOT scrape off. They mostly just shred into a thousand tiny unusable pieces.

Number 3. FOOD

Food is probably the biggest adjustment whenever you go anywhere that’s not your home. We all love food. Food carries traditions. It carries memories. It carries comfort.

It also carries names.

I spent several trips to the grocery store trying to find chickpeas. They are not called chickpeas in America. They’re called garbanzo beans! who knew.

My husband also learned the hard way, that there is no Deluxe Pizza in the U.S.. When he ordered one the lady at Papa Murphy’s looked at him like he was crazy before very politely saying: “Sir, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He switched lanes. “Fully loaded? do you have that?” Again the this-guy-is-crazy expression.

It’s called Supreme.

Other terms we had to learn: Tater Tot Hot Dish. Its not KD, its mac & cheese. Icing sugar is confectioners sugar. And there is no such thing as brown flour.

Well there is. But you can only buy it in small bags and hardly anyone uses it. In Canada we buy our whole wheat flour in 10kg bags!

Number 4. Weather

My neighbor told me Fall is the season for shorts and sweaters. I thought he was joking. Then autumn came. I would bundle my kids up in snow pants, long sleeve shirts and winter coats because the mornings felt like winter. By noon it would be 68 degrees (+20 Celsius). By 3pm when I’d pick the boys up from school they would be beet red. Sweat pouring down their faces.

“Mom! You over dressed me again!”

In Saskatchewan fall lasts 2 weeks if it’s a good year. One day its summer. You’re frolicking at the beach getting a sunburn. The next the world is all white and you’re hunkered by the fire waiting for the next 6 months to pass.

We also use Celsius to tell temperature which is, I’m sorry to say, but the far better option. If the numbers are positive its warm. Negative its cold. Zero is where it freezes. Now I have to figure out freezing from 32?? My brain exploded.

Number 5. Medical Care

My husband hurt his wrist. I should probably say it was doing something manly like lifting a car to save a pregnant woman, but it was from crawling around the children’s museum with our kids. He’s going to be thrilled I included that tidbit! He asked the woman at the pharmacy if they had any tensor bandages. He received yet another look like he was crazy (this happens a lot apparently). My husband proceeded to try and describe what a tensor bandage was. You know, those long stretchy pink things you wrap around wrists and ankles?

We learned its called an Ace bandage. I don’t even know how to spell it, but I’m guessing that’s right. Unless maybe its Aice? or A.C.E. bandage? but what that acronym stands for your guess is as good as mine. Always Comfortable Easy wrap. Okay I got nothing.

And yes in Canada we live in the land of free health care (as do 43 other countries!). Not entirely free, you usually have a small monthly deductible if you’re a part of a group plan, and eyes and teeth are often extra.

Canadian health care does have its problems. Over loaded hospitals. Long wait times for knee and hip replacements. Long wait times for scans and sometimes even family doctor appointments. But I won’t complain about Canadian health care anymore! Not since we received our $700 bill for going to a medi-clinic to get antibiotics. Yikes.

And guess what? the antibiotics didn’t work. So we had to go and see a new doctor over Christmas holidays. In Alberta. It cost us $20 for the new antibiotics. That was it. The whole bill. $20.

#5. 2. This is a Duotang.

Okay I realize I’ve gone over my 5 stories, but I couldn’t think of a category to put this one in, hence the 5.2.

The most important thing you need when moving to a new country, is a good local friend! This comes in very handy when one has to ask strange, embarrassing questions.

For example. When your son’s school sends out the supply list for the year and you’re standing at Walmart and you realize they want you to buy a paper folder.

You think to yourself. Okay a paper folder. That’s easy. Its a paper thingy with slots for loose papers.

But then I started thinking, or maybe its a Duotang… and my Canadian spidey-sense went off with the inkling that Duotang was quite possibly another Canadian term that was bound to receive a this-girl-is-crazy look. So instead of awkwardly asking the employee at Walmart, and having to explain myself with hand actions and audio-visual demonstrations. I texted my good Minnesotan friend.

And she said: “I have never heard of a Duotang in my life.” (that might not be a direct quote… it was a while ago.)

So here you go. If you don’t learn anything from this very rambly blog post, at least you can leave with this. Duotangs are paper folders with those metal tabs that slide into hole punched paper.

According to Wikipedia, it was actually a company started in Chicago in 1931. Then the company was bought out by Oxford. So the term Duotang died out in the U.S. and became “paper folder” whereas in Canada it lived on.

So if you know anyone who immigrated to a different country, find them and tell them they’re doing a great job.

Because I can’t imagine how hard it was for them to leave everything familiar and go to a place where they had to learn how to do every day life from step zero. Especially if English isn’t their first language.

And if you want to hang out with some crazy Canadians, we’re always up for a laugh. We’re pretty easy to spot. Over dressed with our toques on, trying to pay for things with monopoly money, and showing up for Thanksgiving a month early.